Missing in Action...

Posting for September 28, 2012

Somehow I missed posting for Friday, September 28th, and for the 365 blogs sake, I must make amends. 

I always have something to say, have you noticed this by now?  Well, my daughter, Brittanee, and my grandcat Teddy, will be coming here on October 4th.  Brittanee will be here til Monday, Teddy will be staying with us until after the first of the year.  Brittanee is coming home for the fall festival and we are going to go see the movie Pitch Perfect sometime that weekend.  Should be fun.

Then the best part of all, I have an appointment in Indy on the 19th of October, so I am planning on spending the weekend with Brittanee.  I am not sure what all we will be doing, but I do know, we will be going to Bloomington, Assembly hall to see my beloved Hoosiers basketball team for a scrimmage game and Hoosier Hysteria!  Fun times abound!! 

Indiana University wreath with monogrammed door hanger

From joelybun

Happy 72nd Day of this Blog!

Wow, who would have ever thought I would actually stick with this blog, so far so good.  I have lots of ideas that I will incorporating in this blog, special editions if you will.  Just got to take the time to do a little planning and of course, Wayne, I am not forgetting my assignments either. 

Sometimes life gets in the way period, exclamation mark.!  Not just your job but your overall life, and sometimes you get on the wrong path for awhile, I am happy to say I am on the happy go lucky path again and I know where I am headed just not quite sure where I will end up!  :) 

I love writing this blog, although, most of you probably think it is silly, it is helping me to maybe get enough courage to write a short story, and see where it goes.  I actually look forward to getting on here and writing.  I have always loved to write!  Usually poetry but this has served to be a great sounding board for me. 

Thanks for the support I have gotten, I know not a lot of people have subscribed to my blog, but I know when people visit, and for that I am thankful.  Happy reading and Happy 72nd day of this blog, I think I am going to make my goal of posting 365 posts...only 293 more posts to go!!  :)

Worked first Saturday OT

Posted for September 29, 2012

Worked OT for the first time on Saturday, and although it was not your typical work day (hardly anyone knew we were open), I must say it wasn't too bad.  Except for the fact, that we couldn't get into the building, other than that it was a good day and good money.  I am hoping to be picked for more Saturdays for that extra $$. 

Monday I am working my first 6 am -  7pm shift, we will see how that goes.  I hope to have more sleep than I have been getting and you better hope so too, or I may be a true bear.  Grrr! 

I feel blessed to have a job, work with great people, and am surrounded by love in every aspect of my life! 

“I like to call in sick to work at places where I’ve never held a job. Then when the manager tells me I don’t work there, I tell them I’d like to. But not today, as I’m sick.”
― Jarod Kintz, This Book is Not for Sale

Inspirational

Post for Thursday, September 27, 2012

I always look forward to Fridays, because at work that is always Meeting day. An hour in a room with everyone on my team, which I am beginning to feel part of now. So on Fridays when I get in at 10 I sign into my computer and phone and head straight to a meeting, an hour off the phone. Not that the phones are bad, I like it most days.

Last Friday was a 2 hour meeting, I must have missed that part of the email. It didn't matter, again time off the phone, and time to spend with my team. :) Some I like better than others, but I am a people person overall, and I really do try to give some of them a benefit of the doubt before I decide "ok no response, no more time spent on them." Sound harsh? Well, you can only smile and say hi so many times when all that you get back is a stare like you are a 3 headed alien with purple and black hair and tattoos all over your body. LOL.

Anyway, in all my years of being in Customer Service and Call Centers, this meeting was the absolute best I have EVER been too! They had a motivational interactive lady come in and do a team building meeting with us and gave us a lot of insight of what Customer Service is really about, but in a fun way. Our "team" exercise, I wasn't too crazy about, but we did it and we did it well together.

Sit back and think about this, there were probably 20 of us. We all had to get on this rectanglular cloth, very tight space, very close, up in everyone's business :(. Our assignment was to turn this cloth over without communication and working together. After we all got on the same page, we were able to do just that and it appeared we made good time. I will be the first to tell you, I am a hugger, being used to people. I did not like this exercise. We were too close for comfort to many people and by the time it was over we were all sweating, which I am pretty sure some were stinking. And some came in that room stinking...just saying. There was one girl in particular that was doing so much heavy breathing with her mouth open breathing on everyone. I kept trying to turn my head, that part I wasn't a fan of. Gross!! If i get sick, I am putting the blame on that exercise.

We did several of other little "group" exercises. So it was a fun, interactive exercise. We were split in teams where you had to go out of your comfort zone and sit with others who you may not talk to very much. Enter some I took the opportunity to try to talk to again, and again all I get is the alien stare, I must really be stupid looking or appear snobby or something. I promise you I am far from being snobby or unapproachable.

There is one lady in particular, an older lady.  You know I have a lot of older friends, so I guess I was drawn to her, to make her talk to me.  She wont, hasn't ever.  You know me, I am not a giver upper so easily.  I tried really hard and got NO result.  When I mention this to a few people they always make excuses for her, which I don't buy for a moment and she is one I am about to say "ok" I tried to be nice to you and you are just not worth it.  Harsh?  Maybe. I understand shy.  I don't understand rude when someone makes eye contact with you and says hello. 

Overall a great meeting, I had been having a rough week, and this put a lot of things in perspective for me.  Glad I was able to be a part of such a wonderful experience!  Thank you Vectren, and thank you Maura Robinson. 

Fall

Listen!  Did you hear that sound?
It was the beauty of leaves falling to the ground

Fall is a great time of the year, leaves changing colors, drinking hot chocolate, enjoying the cool crisp air
Halloween is just around the corner, dress up if you dare

Hayrides, mazes, just hanging out with friends
The possiblities in Fall never ends

In the Fall, it is not too hot to take a stroll
And you are just that much closer to see if you will receive a present or just a lump of coal

Although Summer is my absolute favorite time of the year
I think I would rank Fall as a close second, wouldn't you too dear?

Fall is like the shedding of the past, making room for things that are new
May you enjoy the Fall and remember all things that are true

Get out and enjoy the weather if you can
It will be December before we know it, man

In our part of the US, we will be celebrating at the fall festival, eating bizarre goodies
Hoping it will be cool enough to break out our hoodies

Let's toast to a great Fall and the start of the holidays that are approaching fast
Surround yourselves with your loved ones and the good times will last!

The Answer Man

Post for Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Happy 3 months til Christmas!  If you are like me, you are saying Uggh, I don't want to think about that already!  But had to do my public service announcement :). 

After several weeks of having lower left abdominal pain and ruling things out--no  diverticulitis, no kidney stones, no this, no that, I finally went to my doctor.  It appears I have my old friends "the lesions or their nickname scar tissue" back, and with a vengeance I might add! 

I have been feeling some discomfort on my left side but didn't really give it much thought until it rears its ugly head and wants to cause me so much pain I sometimes forget my name.  Not really, but that is how much pain I am in at times.  Glad to finally know what it is, but not glad that that is what it is.  Most of you know I have been plagued with kidney stones, second nature for me, and if I say I would rather have a kidney stone, ya'll know, I am not joking about this god awful pain. 

Going to try a medicine to see if it works, Prayers Please, and if not, will have to have the almighty surgery again.  I am very nauseous with this.  So far I have been able to lay in a bed, I remember last time I wasnt able to for a very long time.  I had scar tissue removed March 24th, 2011, and I am hoping I don't have to go that route again. 

I will keep you updated on this evil condition.  Glad to be alive, glad to have had the surgery still to this day, and determined to moving again in the right direction! 

Keep your feet on the ground, your eyes to the sky, and your heart open!

Strange Addictions

Post for Monday, September 24, 2012

I had seen commercials here and there for the show, My Strange Addictions, but never had the chance to watch it.  However, a couple of weeks ago, I ran across it while I was choosing my programs to DVR.  I decided to tape it, it was crazy with a capital C.  Who would have thought that someone really eats dryer sheets, chalk, or wakes up every day and wants to run 100 miles?  This is what I have seen so far in the 2 hours I have watched it.  I can tell you, if you need a break from reality and lots of laughs, watch this show!  As soon as I can remember when it comes on I am going to try to tape it again.  Pure entertainment and it makes me feel normal.  LOL.

After watching this show, I was trying to think if I have any strange addictions.  Not really, nothing comes to mind.  I am addicted to caramel frapps from Starbucks, Werthers Candy Apple candies, but nothing bizarre or out of the ordinary I don't think. 

Now my mom and Brittanee both like eating noodles with butter AND sugar on them.  I always found that to be odd, they love it.  LOL thinking about that, I did remember my one true strange addiction, burnt popcorn.  I haven't had any in a long time.  I used to put in the microwave at work or home and open the door to have the smoke rolling out forever and people would complain about the smell.  Let me just clear this up and say that I would not eat it if you didn't see any white left on the popcorn piece, if it was charred beyond recognition that bag had to go to the trash!

One more thing, before I had gastric bypass, I hated coffee-the smell, the taste, everything about it!  I was addicted to the creamers though, whenever we went to a hotel or restaurant I would load up on all kinds of flavors and drink them by themselves later.  Once, as a gag gift, Kathy gave me a bag full of creamers for Christmas, and guess what I drank every one of them.   Talk about funny!  Since I have had surgery I love coffee and drink it as much as I can.  I guess I am still not a diehard coffee fan, as I only drink Hazelnut coffee from my Keurig and put some Hazelnut creamer in it and I only have 1 cup.  No more drinkng the little creamer packages for Kazi. 

Do you have any strange addictions?  If you would like to share, I would love to hear all about them! 

A Weighing In with Kazi Update

About a week ago I went to Newburgh Rivertown Trail to walk for the very first time with coworkers and we ended up walking the whole course, which by the time we made it back to the car was almost an 11 mile hike.  Not a great thing to do starting out walking again.  But I felt like it was a "notch" in my belt, if you will, to say I had done it.  Made me feel good.  Hurt a few days later, but overall, made me feel I was on the right track.

Most of you know, I am a stress eater.  Just because a person has Gastric Bypass surgery does not change this fact.  Deep down, those old triggers that got you where you were when you had the surgery, are still there.  Some people manage that little devil on their shoulder better than others.  I am not that strong.  Or so I thought.  Now, I beg to differ.  I am going to show that devil who is boss and YES I might even start taking names! 

With that being said, I am going to alter my eating habits, notice I didn't say "change."  Because to me "change" is a work in progress not something that you can do overnight.  Or at least, this is how I feel.  You know how you feel when you hear a trigger word, like for me, "diet" makes me antsy.  Healthier is a better word.  I can wrap my head around that better than I can "diet."  Even though, truthfully I will or should be on healthier path for the rest of my life.  I am going to cut out some of the things that have been a crutch to me, like I stated, I am not quitting all of my "bad habits" cold turkey.  That way never works for me, and makes me more miserable than when I started a new endeavor. 

I did lose 3 lbs last week.  I only exercised a few times.  Today all that changes.  I went walking at the Newburgh Trail again this morning, but only managed to walk 3 miles because of the persistent pain in my left side.  But you know what, it was a start.  And every day before I go to work, I am planning on taking Baby to Wesselman's to walk, and when it rains, I will be hauling my butt to Washington Square Mall before work.  I used to walk all of the time, and I enjoyed it.  I would enjoy it more with music, if someone  will ever help me set that up, but it is a good reflection time.  Baby needs to lose some weight also so we will both be benefiting from this.  I am excited!  I plan to walk every day and increasing my miles every day or ok, let's be more realistic, every week. 

Here's where it is time to get REAL.  When I came back from my vacation in May before I started my new job I had gained between 6-9 lbs.  Since I started my new job in early June, I have gained 15 lbs.  That is totally unacceptable and I take 110% of the blame.  I am ashamed, I am disappointed in myself.  But you know what, it is by far not the end of the world, and I am determined (still) by December 15th to be down at least 20 lbs.  For those that don't have the faith in me, that I am finding deep within myself, I say sit back and watch me!  I might just surprise you and me both! 

Bad Hair Color + Bad Mood = A Potential Disaster

Post for Saturday, September 22, 2012

Let's start by being blunt, this past week was one of my worst weeks in a long time.  Just lots of emotions flying here and there all over the place, off the charts.  Here is the funny thing about all of that, even though at the time, I saw no humor in much of anything all week, the one day I post something not my usual bubbly self,  I get all kinds of emails, calls, texts.  You would have thought the world ended or I was dying.  Neither happened, I just had a bad week, and one particular horrible day.  Hey, I am entitled every once in a great while! 

I tend to shut down and away from my norm when I have a bad day but I had a few people "call me out" on it, if you will, and that has NEVER happened to me.  Made me think.  I am probably better for that "tough love" talk we had. 

Recently, I had decided to change my hair color.  I couldn't really afford to go to Katrina, my beautician, so I bought a $14 box of hair color with highlights I had to put in myself.  My goal was to have dark brown hair with reddish highlights, what I got was a hot mess instead.  It was orange almost carrot orange with blondish highlights, it was hideous.  Trust me on this.  I had no other choice but to go to work looking like that, talk about embarrassing, it totally was one of my worst days out in public. 

That day was so bad and I hated my reflection every time I saw myself in the mirror.  That hair color is changing tonight.  My mom usually has hair color laying around, so I grabbed the firsst box I saw which was a dark brown and put that over my hideous orangish hair, thinking it couldn't possibly get any worse than it was.  Though, it was a dark dark color, it was a tad better than the orange mess, but I still wasn't happy overall with it.  I did get several compliments about it at work and around town, but it wasn't me.  To those that don't know, my natural hair color is dark brown.  As soon as I was able to, I changed that, and started coloring my hair.  Yes, MaKenzie, if I could pull it off, I would totally have pink or purple hair that you told Katrina I might ask her to do for me someday.  :) 

After looking at this very dark color, my mood became just like my hair--dark and drab.  I frantically dialed Katrina to see when she could get me in to do my hair color and highlights professionally, I had to wait like a week and a half.  I thought I was going to die! Somehow I got through the waiting period. 

Yesterday I went to Katrina, showed her the pix of what my hair was supposed to look like from that $14 box of hair color I chose, which she agreed it was HORRIBLE!  Said that might have taken awhile to get out of my hair.  The color I went in with, which everyone seemed to like so much, Katrina said wasn't a dark brown or even black, she said it was a violet color with reddish tints.  I am glad I didn't know that until then.  :)  Or I may have put yet another color on it on my own.  Yea, I have done that many times in the past.

Katrina outdid herself again.  I brought in a pix I showed her and because of how dark my "violet" hair color was it was not going to turn out exactly like the pix I found but she said we could improvise after she finished if I wanted more of a color or whatever.  I tell she is the best "find", again I owe that to my niece, MaKenzie.  :) 

I love my hair cut, color and highlights!  And the price couldn't be beat either!!  I now feel like my hair, new and improved!  I am my happy, upbeat self once again with a new lease on life, now if I could get more than 3 hours of sleep per night I would not have ANY complaints for awhile at least....

Welcome to Quote Friday (Post 9/21/12)

Decisions

 

A peacefulness follows any decision, even the wrong one. ~Rita Mae Brown

 

Consider what you think justice requires, and decide accordingly. But never give your reasons; for your judgment will probably be right, but your reasons will certainly be wrong. ~Lord Mansfield

 

Some persons are very decisive when it comes to avoiding decisions. ~Brendan Francis

 

Do not plant your dreams in the field of indecision, where nothing ever grows but the weeds of "what-if." ~Dodinsky, www.dodinsky.com

 

Relationships

 

Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow. ~Swedish Proverb

Don't smother each other. No one can grow in the shade. ~Leo Buscaglia

Sometimes it is the person closest to us who must travel the furthest distance to be our friend. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

 

Lust is easy. Love is hard. Like is most important. ~Carl Reiner

 

When something is missing in your life, it usually turns out to be someone. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same. ~Flavia Weedn, Forever, © Flavia.com

 

Friendship

 

If a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. ~Edgar Watson Howe

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart. ~Elisabeth Foley

Friends are those rare people who ask how you are and then wait for the answer. ~Author Unknown

I like friends who, when you tell them you need a moment alone, know enough not to stray too far. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

If you're alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. But anytime you need a friend, I'll just be me. ~Author Unknown

 

Carpe Diem

 

Spend the afternoon. You can't take it with you. ~Annie Dillard

 

I'm less interested in why we're here. I'm wholly devoted to while we're here. ~Erika Harris, empathicwriter.com

 

I have spent my days stringing and unstringing my instrument, while the song I came to sing remains unsung. ~Tagore

 

Being Yourself

 

All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself. ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"

 

Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland

 

If you cannot be a poet, be the poem. ~David Carradine

 

Optimism

 

Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it's a cha-cha. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

 

Of course I look at the glass half full. The only time I would look at it half empty is when I think about how good the first half tasted. ~Drew Deyoung

Happiness

 

If you want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy

 

What a wonderful life I've had! I only wish I'd realized it sooner. ~Colette

 

What I'm looking for is a blessing that's not in disguise. ~Kitty O'Neill Collins

Happiness is the feeling you're feeling when you want to keep feeling it. ~Author Unknown

 

 

Always have a quote in your heart, it makes you think, some really deeply.  And care more, show emotions more, and hug those that are close to you that you don't always verbalize to them as much as you should!  Thanks for dropping by!  Your visits make my day!

 

 

I think people are brought in your life for a purpose

Post for Thursday, September 20, 2012

As you all know by now, that I do believe that everything happens for a reason.  Here lately, I have become a firm believer as well, that certain people enter your lives for a reason.  You may not recognize it at the time, but sometimes these people are just in your life for a short time, some build a nest in your heart and you click on many levels.  I never really thought much about this before until now. 

And to be completely honest with you, I really only thought about this in the past as a relationship type concept.  Like me and my prince.  Never really thought that some people, who would become friends of mine, would leave such an impact in my life and in my heart. 

One of my many weaknesses, is that I care too much too fast.  Always have, guess I always will.  And I trust the wrong people.  I am trying to learn from these mistakes.

Recently, I have met some people that I realize GOD has sent to me because he knew I needed them.  I will be forever grateful. 

As for the "old" friends in my life, I am not discounting them in the least.  I am blessed beyond measure with my friends and huge supporters.

Guess what, it's true.  I have bad days.  I am so upbeat and positive that when I do have a down moment it seems to be noticed by thousands.  Though I appreciate the concern, I am human, I have sucky days too!  Trust me.  Since I love to write, I vocalize it much more than most people, and I am starting to learn that is not acceptable with some people.  That is one of the reasons I started this blog, it fulfills my need to write, helps keep me on track with my bucket list, and it filters those who do not wish to be "bothered" by me or my feelings. 

I appreciate my old friends, my new friends, and the ones that sometimes I don't get to see some of my friends that I would love to see a whole lot more.  I understand life gets in our way sometimes, and I am ok with that. 

I am so very thankful for GOD sending those people to me just when I needed them the most....

How do you react, when,,,,,

How do you react when someone "calls you out" on something?  In a public place, where people are around?  And whatever they are talking about they don't know crap about in the first place? 

My first gut reaction (and I am not a fighter) is to slap the crap out of of someone.  Of course, I never do that.  I won't back down though.  You want to start something with me, fine.  Just make sure you can back up your words, and make sure you are ready for the outcome.  Not a threat just wanted to get this out. 

Just because I appear to be quiet at times, dont take this as you can walk all over me any time you want.  I do tend to hold things in longer than I should at times.  I am seriously trying to work on that.  If something upsets me I try to vocalize it at that time or shortly after it happens, but sometimes I am guilty of letting things fester then it all blows up.  I am human.  I have to learn from mistakes.  I have to move on. 

Just wondering, what you do when confronted?  In private or public?  Feedback please.

Have a wonderful blue sky day!

I Accept.....

Post for Tuesday, September 18, 2012

I have received a request from a dear friend, and fellow writer, Wayne.  He is requesting two blogs from me, one "Carmen's Perfect Day (or week) as an Artist" and "Carmen's Ultimate Writer's Nest."  Though I must say that I am a little frightened by this assignment, I am taking it to heart.  It will be a few days until I am able to do some research and deep thinking about these challenges. 

I want to thank you, Wayne, for giving me these challenges.  I need to learn to grow in writing, please keep the challenges coming!  I appreciate you taking time to stop by each and every day, Wayne, and for being so encouraging and insightful!  Thanks for your continued support and I will start my assignement this weekend!

This blog has been very therapeutic for me.  It is probably boring to some, that is fine, you don't need to stop by.  I have learned a long time can't please everyone all of the time!

God Bless Wayne, Amy, and all the other lovely people that DO stop by to read my nonsense.  Love to all!  And to all a Groovy day!

Contacting me one text at a time...

Post for Monday, September 17th, 2012

Before texting and cell phones altogether, I was a phone person.  I spent hours (I am talking 4 or more hours) on the phone with my friends, sometimes that 4 hours was spent talking to just one person.  A friend of mine, Peggy, and I could do longer marathons and she just lived across town.  Peggy is now in heaven and I am sure she is one of the many watching me from Heaven.  I miss our conversations!  She was so insightful, we met working at Sears, and she was one of my biggest fans! 

With cell phones now, I will be honest, I am not much of a talker.  Most of my friends say that they always thinks something is wrong if I call them to talk.  Because I am just mainly a texter.  I am not convinced it is because of laziness, I am more convinced it is because I talk on the phone for a living.  I just dont like to talk on the phone. 

This has never been a problem until recently, apparently.  I am only taking 50% of the blame though, this calling, keeping in touch works two ways.  I am a little tired, I won't lie, about getting messages that I quit trying, or I am never in touch.  I work 10-7 Monday thru Friday, when I get home, I cook a little something, watch Y&R with my mom, chat a little and go to bed.  Exciting life, eh?  So you see I am not having much fun without you, my dear friends.  Weekends haven't been real exciting either.  I am not complaining.  I am just setting the record straight my friends. 

I do keep in touch with a few friends via email and several through texting.  If you want to call me, call me.  If I can I will answer, if not leave me a message and I will call you back.  I will warn you overtime is getting ready to kick in very soon at my job and I may be working lots more (Kazi needs the money), but in the end, my friends mean the world to me.  I am sorry that some of you feel I have abandoned you, I don't mean to abandon anyone.  If you are still on my Facebook friends list, that means I want to keep you, I want to get together.  I understand funds are tight for a lot of you, they are for me.  Walking, however is free.  And it gives people plenty of time to talk and catch up.

Text me!  Call me!  Email me!  Please keep in contact with me!!  I miss ya!! 

How neat it must be....

Watching the MTV music awards and seeing all the artists singing their hearts out and you just know by looking at them, they love their jobs, there is absolutely no other place they would rather be.  Pink is singing her heart out and the crowd is loving her, as I do as well.  I know the artists put a lot of time rehearsing, writing their music, etc, but oh the fun they have.  I would like to experience it for a week and then I will tell you what I would rather do for a living. 

Anyone know who I could trade with?  LOL .  Do you think Usher would like to sit at Vectren and talk to people about their utility bills?  Or Lady Gaga would like to to help people make payment arrangements?  Or Carrie Underwood would like to take payments over the phone?  Darius Rucker, sending copies of statements? 

If I get a call that someone wants to trade, I will let ya'll know!  And I will take plenty of pix! 

Starting to walk on a new path *Post for 9/15/12

If you are a regular here, you know by now, that I am struggling with my weight 2 years post gastric bypass.  I am determined to get back to where I want to be.  I know it sounds like I am beating a dead horse, but you have no idea how disappointed I am in my self.  I have let outside influences and life in general get in my way. 

My health screening opened up my eyes in a big way.  Yes, I passed 3 out of 5 of my screenings but I am now in tuned of what I need to do.  For myself.  For my health.  For my self esteem.  I have let myself go and this is just plain sad.  I don't need or want pity, I don't need or want lectures, i got this, trust me.

Went to the Rivertown Trail in Newburgh and thought I was going to work 5 miles ended up walking 10.75 right off the bat.  I thought we were badass, today not feeling so badass.  Feeling more like I will never walk again and I am already cringing thinking about climbing all the stairs at work.  I am not giving up on walking just decided after I got out of bed that I needed to take today off from walkin and resume tomorrow. 

I will do some exercise today later on.  Today starts my diet.  I know I have said this over and over but I am dead. serious. period. 

My new theme song is Stronger by Kelly Clarkson
You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in color
And do the things I want
You think you've got the best of me
Think you've had enough the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken downThink that I'd come running back
Baby, you don't know me, 'cause you're dead wrong
Chorus:What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes you fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone
Bridge:What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
You heard that I was starting over with someone new
They told you I was moving on, over you
You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You tried to break me, but you see
Chorus:What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes you fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over 'cause you're gone
Bridge:What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken-hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking 'bout me
You know in the end the day you left is just my beginning
In the end

I shall overcome!! 

First Food Day at the new job

So coming from a company that used to have a food day at least once a month, and going to a "health conscience" work place, this is our first food day and I have been there 3 months now.  We are celebrating Miss Gayle's birthday and Miss Sherri's birthday, which is a nice thing to do.  We are bringing in Mexican themed dishes.  I am making the world's famous mexican cheeseball thanks to my good friend Susan for giving me that recipe, after I begged her many times to make one for me.  Now I am hooked and hope my new coworkers will like it as much as I  do. 

Can't wait to see the spread what everyone brings.  Good group of folks.  Still getting to know a lot of people, and everyone has been nice to me.  Love friendly people!  You know its the social butterfly in me!  :)

Hope everyone has a great day today!  Hola!

It's A Hairy Mess (Post for 9/13/12)

On Sunday, September 9th I decided to change my hair color to a "fall" color.  I do this every year, although I usually have it done professionally.   This time I was a little on the poor side so I did it myself.  My hair was light brown with blond highlights and just having spent the previous day in the sun all day it had become lighter.  So when I picked up a box of hair color at Walmart with the intention of coloring my hair a deep dark brown with reddish highlights, I didn't take the lightness of my hair into much consideration.

My hair turned an almost orange.  I was so embarrassed to go to work like that, but as people remind me all the time, it's just hair, you can always change it.  Ok, so I endured a day of work with this god awful hair color.  That night I changed it again, put dark brown on my red/orangish hair hoping for another, better outcome.  I was determined to get rid of the color it was that I left the brown on for 2 hours.  It is better than the red, but still not to my liking. 

I will either redo it this weekend again (I know all this color is not good for my hair in a short period of time) been through this all before.  Thanks for your concern.  If my hair falls out, it's all good, I will wear a hat or something.  Or I will call an expert and spend the money to make my hair look half way decent again.  Katrina get ready for my call!!

Yes, I know it's only hair but geez this is an awful mess!  Trust me on this.  Sure, I have gotten tons of compliments but deep down in the very soul of my being I hate this color! 

True colors shining thru......

Welcome to Vectren's Health Screening

It seems like more and more companies are trying to encourage a healthy or at least a healthier lifestyle.  At Vectren we have to take a health assessment and depending on what we score good on we get discounts on our deductibles for the next year.  I must admit I was a little nervous at taking this.  I was pleasantly surprised with the results.

I passed everything but 2 things.  One was cholesterol, but they say it wasn't a big enough deal to become an issue right now, and therefore no medication is needed.  Hallelujah!  And the other was BMI.  I was off by .01 %, are you freakin kidding me?  You better believe I injected my unhappiness in that regard.  I missed a discount of $156 on my insurance because of .01%!!! 

I passed blood glucose, blood pressure, and no smoking!  I am happy with this outcome, although I have some things to work on, I now know what I need to do to get myself back on the right track.  Now for the right frame of my mind, I will get there.  I have my goal staring me in the face.  Just gotta make it happen!!

Oh the pain in my side (post for 9/11/12)

While I was at work last night and after walking, I immediately had a sharp and at times intense pain in my lower left side.  I thought right away "Oh no, here we go again, probably kidney stones."  As the minutes clicked away towards 7pm when I got off, I knew I had to be seen somewhere to have it checked out. 

I opted for Convenient Care, they determined I didn't have kidney stones or bladder infection.  I had tried to tell them that over and over.  I have had much experience with both and I am very familiar with the pain and uncomfortableness with both.  They came back and told me they think I have diverticulitis. 

Finding someone that would/could get my antibiotic proved to lead me to one dead end after the other.  Luckily I was able to find the very antibiotic that I was prescribed in my cabinet from last year, but not past the expiration date.  Took that and we will see what happens from there.  If I am not any better in a few days I am supposed to have a CT scan done of my abdomen.  The fun never stops I tell ya. 

Today I had bouts of pain and then I would be fine, I am not sure I believe the diverticulitis diagnosis, but will keep on top of this if the pain intensifies.  I appreciate the texts and emails I received.  My friends really are the best!! 

Inspiration.... Post for 9/10/12

As you know I am a quote-a-holic and love inspirational quotes and passages.  This came to my email some months ago and I thought it was worth sharing.....I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.  :)       Stress is a Choice An Empty Pickle Jar A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty pickle jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes." The professor then produced two glasses of chocolate milk from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand.	Today's Daily InspirationToday's EntertainmentToday's Health & Healing e
The students laughed. The Moral of the Story - The professor waited for the laughter to subside.... "Now," said the professor, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things...your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favorite passions. Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full." "The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your home, your car." "The sand is everything else...The small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first,  there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life.  If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room  for the things that are critical to your happiness." "Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner to dinner.  Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house or fix the disposal." "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter.  Set your priorities, the rest is just sand."

An update on my Bucket List

Earlier in August, I had posted a more realistic bucket list than I have in the past, something shorter that I thought I would be better at getting through.  Just wanted to give a quick update....

*I have written 2 short stories, my goal was to write 1. 
*So far I have read books by 2 new authors that I have never read their works before
Sylvia Day (Bared to you) much like the 50 shades series
Luis Carlos Montalvan (Until Tuesday) which I am currently still reading
I still have to find 2 books from authors I have never read before and 4 from authors that I love
*I have made 2 new friends, 3 more to go by December 15th, I think I can make that happen.

Other things I still have to work on:

*Watching 20 movies I have never seen
*Watch 10 TV shows I have never seen
*East at 5 restaurants I have never been to
*Achieve my goal weight by December 15
*Save $200

I will check in in about a month to let you know of any further progress I have made.  Until then, thanks for stopping by, next time bring some hot chocolate and sit a spell!

Vectren Holiday World Picnic 9/8/12

I joined the Vectren Activity Club when I first became an employee, and everyone knows that I love Holiday World so when the date was on the itinerary of activities I immediately asked Bobby if she wanted to go with me.  Bobby Ramsey, is the best friend a girl could have!  She lives about 3 hours from here now and she made the drive to go to Holiday World with me!! 

God Bless Bobby, for not only making the long drive, but for spending the majority of the day with me at the waterpark.  (She mostly rides roller coasters when she goes).  I warned her ahead of time that I would wait for her if she wanted to ride any of those rides but she said no she would be happy with me in the waterpark. 

I did introduce her to the Gobbler where you shoot turkeys, the Turkey Whirl and Plymouth cafe where we enjoyed our lovely lunch from Vectren.  She had never been past the Voyage before and didn't know those other places existed, she does now!  She didn't even know there were 2 wave pools and lazy rivers, I, of course, introduced her to the Bahari lazy river and Bahari wave pool. 

Upon entering the waterpark, Bobby wanted to "look" at the Mammoth.  We looked at it from the observation deck, and because there were no lines anywhere, despite 3 other company picnics being held there that day, we decided to give it a try.  We shared the raft with 4 little pre teen aged girls who were rather informative about this ride we were about to embark on.  I told the one to my left that I hated regular roller coasters, in which she replied "I bet after you ride this one you will love regular roller coasters and will be riding them the rest of the day."  Don't bet on it honey.  I was a little nervous but I made it.  The main reasons I rode it, is One Bobby made the 3 hour trip to come with me, and Two No lines.  I would never have stood in a line for an hour to ride the thing but now I can say i rode it. 

The lunch was delicious they had barbecue, fried chicken or hamburgers. We both had the barbecue which was yummy!  They also served green beans, the best macaroni & cheese, rolls, and a delicious brownie.  Good times!

We missed the dive show because we stayed in the waterpark until we were literally kicked out.  The water was very warm, for those that thought I was crazy that I was going swimming when the weather was only in the 70's.  It was when we came out of the water when we became shivery.  We had a great day, it is always good to hang out with my bestie!!  We never run out of things to talk about, and we always find things to laugh at and about! 

Holiday World was a success!  Thank you Vectren for a wonderful day shared with my bestie!  :)

Blessed.....

Just simply feeling Blessed today.  No one special reason, just a million little ones.  I get to see my bestie tomorrow and catch up with her in the lazy river @ Holiday World, how fun will that be?  I am excited even though the water will be a tad chilly, I AM READY!   

Having lunch with my mom and sister.  :)  Have the day off today.  This week was really a short week for me.  Have most of my bills paid.  Have some great people in my life, definitely lots of flowers, no more weeds. 

Struggling with the weight issue and getting back into exercise routine, but will work that all out.  Would like to start going back to church.  Have been thinking about it for a very long time, have stayed away for all the wrong reasons.  Go figure. 

Miss my dad, thinking about him a lot as his birthday will be next month. 

Blessed to have a roof over my head, a job,  friends that love me no matter what, people that listen to me, friends near and far, etc

My life is neither thrilling or exciting day after day, but it is mine, I claim it...along with the ups and downs.  I am learning many new things down this path of life, my path, and even though I get into deep with people at times and I feel an imminent loss when they leave, I will pick up and move on I always do.  It has always seemed to work for me. 

This blog, in it's own way, is also a blessing that I count.  It has been up and going strong for 49 days.  Only 316 days to go to make this bucket list goal a reality!  I think I can I think I can!

Thank you for stopping by, I am blessed also because YOU took the time out of your busy day to stop by this blog.  Thank you from the bottom of my crazy little heart!  :)

Two steps forward, 10 steps back

I am beginning to see some truth that maybe I hadn't wanted to see in the saying "the road to hell is paved with good intentions."  You might shrug on that one and say "where is she going with this?"  The answer is simple my friends. 

Just when I think I have my routine down and together and I can get "fit" or think I am heading in that direction, something jumps in my path and steers me the other way.  Is it the devil or just my devil in disguise?  The other me, that takes over and lives with a dangerous edge?  I think it is my evil twin.  She made me make that banana poke cake she really did.  And she made me eat green apple candy, I had no control. 

With that being said, and confessed....I have 2 more days coming up that I wont be good, most likely.  And on Sunday I am going to try to gain control once again over my evil twin!  Sometimes I do defeat her, knock the wind out of her sails and even manage to lose a lb or two but in my darkest of hours, she gets the best of me and makes me think "it will be ok if I just eat this, I can do this later."  I have to get out of that mindset!!

I know for most of you reading this, you probably don't have a weight issue.  For that I applaud you, you really have no idea how lucky you are.  Yes, I had gastric bypass 2 years ago.  No I don't ever want to go back down that fat road.  This is an everyday struggle for me.  I don't want to just give up and become a statistic....I want to to beat the odds! 

Wish me luck!  Nominate me for the Biggest Loser, Dolvett could make these lbs come off and he would be delectable to look at even though he might be screaming at me constantly.  Love me some Dolvett!! 

Thanks for stopping by my way, let's have peanut butter pie, I mean a fruit smoothie soon.....

Everyone needs to better themselves

I understand the need and feeling that everyone needs and wants to better themselves, and they should do that if they so feel it will make them happier in life.  So why do I seem to want to hold them back just when they have come in my life and I don't want to say goodbye again?

Selfish reasons, just selfish on my part.  I need to be more supportive.  I need to encourage people to follow their dreams. 

I am a bad one to let go, unless of course, when I need to eliminate the "negatives" in my life, which I did that earlier this year and am not sorry at all for that and don't look back on that chapter in my life at all.  Much better off now then I was at the beginning of the year and I thank GOD for that! 

Here is the thing, every job you have, every path you have you will undoubtedly have struggles, it is inevitable.  I understand on many levels wanting more, needing more in different aspects of this thing called life we are all expected to endure day to day.  Don't get me wrong, I am glad to wake up on this side of the earth every day, though I might not always act like it or show my gratitude, I am grateful. 

I just need to let go and instead of not caring or acting like I dont care, I need to be more supportive.  We all know how it is when you dont work together anymore, you promise to always keep in touch, but how well does that really work?  Sure, it can work, making the effort from all parties involved.  But who really takes the time to do this?  Or has the energy? 

I miss some of my buddies that I spent side by side with for 8 years but when we were split up because of yet another layoff, we all had to scatter to different places. 

I know, more than some, life tends to get in the way of contact those who mean the most to you, but like some Hallmark cards say, you can go a long time without seeing a special person in your life, and when you get together sitting on a porch together not saying a word, you feel like you have just had the best connection and conversation when you go back home. 

Let me just say, if you want to keep in touch, text me!  If I don't rate that, ok, I will get the picture.  If you feel the need to strike out on your own and better yourself, more power to you!  Just dont forget us little people when you strike it rich!  :)

Thanks for dropping by, our visits warm my very soul!

What was I thinking?! Post for September 4, 2012

I agreed  to work 12 hours yesterday, September 4th,  what the hell was I thinking?  Oh yea, extra money!  For Christmas, for life in general.  Yes, we were crazy busy allllllll day and that helped (very little) to make the time seem like it went by a (little, very little) fast at times, but I felt like I had been run over by a tour bus, backed over twice and ran over again.  I was dragging big time!  I had about 9 hours of much needed, uninterupted sleep!  I feel like I have hangover this morning, and the only thing I drank when I got home was peach flavored water. 

Today, Wednesday aka short week, I feel like I really wish today was the end of the week.  It will come soon enough and I am sure once winter hits and there will be lots of mandatory overtime I will be better adapted to that.  This ole girl isn't used to the 12 hour shifts anymore, it's been 2 years since I have been away from that type of schedule.  Yes, the overtime sounds fabulous to me in the future just not right now, I gotta get more sleep and in better shape for all that. 

I know it sounds like I am whining, I am really not, just gotta get in better shape to be able to do some of this stuff I want and need to do. 

"I will survive....."

Feeling a little Melancholy-Sept 3, 2012 Post

When one door closes another one opens or so I have been told,  but in the last month I would say it seems that more is changing, unfolding if you will.  If you know me well, you know I am HUGE believer that everything happens for a reason, but what you may not know, is that I think people come in your life and leave it when you need that connection the most.

I have some amazing folks in my life and always in my corner no matter what.  I have recently met some new people that I hope to strengthen our friendship over the years, time will tell on that one. 

Because of the way I am programmed I care and trust way to soon or easily.  I have been burnt by this and you would honestly think by now I would know the triggers and stay the hell away from this very thing, but nooooooooooooo I tend to keep going down the same paths.  WTH?  Seriously?!

Anyway, I got the opportunity to see some friends from out of town, and it's the kind of thing you look forward to for so long and then you realize how much people change.  Not that it is a bad thing at all, but they have lives that you know nothing about anymore.  I guess I just got a pang for the old days at MoronEquity when we all felt like a family.  I miss those days at times, but then I know that everyone had to move on and up in some cases. 

And other friends, no matter how long it has been since you have seen them, it seems you can just pick up and have no uncomfortable moments around them.  You don't necessarily "pick up where you left off" with them because sometimes it has been a few years since you have seen them, but nothing is strained.  You act like you have never lost contact.  How great is that! 

"Misty color memories of the way we were......."

A No Title Poem

When the world seems to be spinning
I am like Charlie Sheen and feel like I am "winning"

Life is a whole lotta ups and downs
Full of smiles and frowns

You have to choose your path and see which direction you want to go
Do it on your terms, fast or slow

Take time, every now and then to stop and smell the flowers
It could be for just a minute or for hours

The beauty is you get to decide how you spend your time
And your quarter, nickel or dime

You choose your friends, sometimes you get a rotten egg in the bunch
And sometimes you have the best friends,  and you were right with your hunch

That the people that are always there for you will show they care
They won't let you do something stupid, if its only on a dare

Friendships bloom in the most unexpected places
Among all kinds of races

When you have no trials in your life, you know you have either given up or this is the end
Because the man upstairs tests us around every corner,  and we know there will always be something that tests us just around the next bend

We have to stand up for what we believe in, hug those that are close to us
Even if they do ride the short bus

Take time to let someone special know they mean something to you
It really would be a nice thing to do

May your day be blessed and your worries be few
Remember, I care about you!

Weighing in with Kazi

Finally catching up on these blogs! 

Let's just say I didn't make my personal goal of losing the 8 lbs by August 31st, but it is all good!  I lost 4 lbs this week!  I am happy about that. 

I have 9 lbs to lose to be at my weight that I was before going on vacation and 20 lbs altogether and then I will re-evaluate to see if I need to lose more, or want to.  I tend to look a little skeletal when I hit a certain weight. 

Thanks for your continued support.  Because Saturdays are my weigh days I will veer off of my eating plan (I hate the word diet) a little.  Today for instance, I am going to a get together with Kara and Zeb and company at the Deerhead.  Good times! 

Woot!  Woot!  3 day weekend, even though it will be soggy and I won't be spending time in the pool this weekend thanks to Isaac, but I plan to chillax.  Have a safe 3 day weekend peeps! 

Thanks for stopping by......Kazi

Working out and trying to change my ways

Post for Friday, August 31, 2012


I have said this before and will say it again, whoever invented the Wii is a pure genius!  Since Brittanee was here and "fixed" the Wii, I have been enjoying the Dance workout, Biggest Loser and sports.  Hey, don't knock it, it's a start.  I have only missed one day working out in a week, that is a good thing for me. 

Also, with that going on, this week I have only drank water.  This has helped me a great deal.  And I have cut wayyy back on my snacking at my desk.  Unfortunately when you sit at a desk all day, you do tend to snack at times.  I still take my either Lean Cuisine or Weight Watcher dinner for lunch every day and usually don't snack at lunch. 

Every other Wednesday is fruit day at Vectren, and I know you (or most of you) won't believe this but I eat a banana sometimes.  And I don't even like bananas!  So you see, this non fruit eater is trying.  That is all I can do at this point.

I won't be very healthy for my upcoming screening at work, but I am at least serious now and on the right track and to me that is a big step. 

Wish me luck that I can stay on track!

Locked Out

Post for Thursday, August 30th, 2012

When I tried to last access this site I was locked out.  Trying to get back here to my blog has been, let's just say, a nightmare.  So much security to get through.  I guess I am glad that it is like that, but it has taken me 3 days to verify my identity and my personal information.  This happened to me before on a previous blog but I just threw in the towel and gave up, not this time!  I am on a mission!  And part of that, is to keep true to my bucket list, write a post for 365 days, then and only then, will I feel accomplished.

So hang on folks, as usual, I have lots to say! 

* First on the agenda, let's talk about double standards, some seem to live by them, not blink an eye and go on their merry little way. 

A double standard is the application of different sets of principles for similar situations, or to different people in the same situation.^[1] A double standard may take the form of an instance in which certain concepts (often, for example, a word, phrase, social norm, or rule) are perceived as acceptable to be applied by one group of people, but are considered unacceptable—taboo—when applied by another group.

I am not "airing" my scenario on this one, because right now 3 people in my life fit this to a T.  And this is something I must consider as I forge ahead in this thing called life. 

*Second, I can't stand to be around people that have the "me" syndrome.  I sure hope no one feels like that around me.  In fact, I highly doubt that they do, because I don't like to talk about myself.  There is not much excitement going on right now, so not much to tell. 

*Third, if I could change one thing about myself today, right this very moment it would be not to care about things in general as much as I do at times. 

Have a good day my friends!