"Let's Keep In Touch"

Sometimes life throws us curves that we dont see coming, some we do see roadblocks along our path and choose a different direction.  Life often pulls us in many directions, and sometimes it isn't always easy to keep in touch with the people that mean the most to you.  You know the saying "Let's stay in touch."  That short little phrase means so much, yet irks me to no end. 

Let's face it boys and girls, friendship takes work, just as any relationship does.  You have to have two willing people to make a friendship work, it is a two way street, not one way.  Some do not seem to understand this.  My philosphy has always been, if you want it bad enough, you will fight for it (whatever IT may be.) 

Scenario One:  Friend A asks Friend B to do something.  Friend B says yes, that sounds fun, we haven't seen each other in awhile let's do something next Saturday.  Friend A makes sure that the plans are made well in advance, that they can get to wherever they are meeting Friend B.  Then Friend B, sends a message "Cant make it on Saturday after all."  Ok first time, understandable, no harm no foul.  Second time, another get together is proposed by Friend A (because if Friend A didn't suggest things or get togethers) they would never get together.  Seems Friends B, C, D ...etc don't know how to plan anything, or simply do not care.  Then 2 hours before the second get together is planned to take place, Friend B cancels again, doesn't matter the reason.  It just sets a pattern.  It seems to be no big deal to Friend B, but Friend A is getting fed up at this point. 

Which friend are you in this scenario?  Ask yourself, in case you are Friend B, when that friendship sours, and you don't keep in touch like you originally planned, will it really matter to you? 

I will be the first to tell you, I am not perfect.  I am a huge people person, people call me the "social butterfly."  I make friends easily, but it does take me awhile to trust people.  In my book, trust is not given it is earned.  You prove to me over and over that you wont go behind my back and tell something I may have told you in confidence, don't try to undermind me, etc--you and I will be just fine.  To me trust is not an easy thing to feel, been through some casualities and I guess that is why I am overly cautious.  It's ok, if you are honest with me, chances are we will not have a problem with this, in time I will be able to trust you and we will become better friends. 

I am a drama free person.  Unfortunately lately I have become inundated with stress trying to work through those issues.  I am easy going until provoked then you better take cover.  Something like the calm before the storm, if you piss me off, you will know it.  If I piss you off, I want to know it.  I am human, I admit to making mistakes, I admit to caring too much, I admit to a lot of things, but if I tell you I am going to meet you somewhere I will be there (usually very early), and IF i have to cancel for any reason you can rest assured, it is for a damn good reason. 

Recently I have withdrawn from some people, not because i don't like them, not because I want out of our friendship, but just to test them to see how much I really mean to them.  How much our friendship means to them?  Am I worth the fight to keep in their life?  Some have proven yes, our friendship means something to them.  This entire blog is not just about getting together, that is part of it, but the BIG picture is, in an effort to keep in touch, as I stated it does take two people.  It doesn't always have to be a meeting, get together.  It could be a quick email just to say, hey been thinking about you, how are you doing?  A short text telling someone to have a good day and that you value them and their friendship. 

Believe it or not, since I don't work with some of my dear friends anymore from in my past or recently, I have heard things like "you have made new friends and have forgotten all about me."  So not true, but if I am the only one making the effort, well, I am not holding out much stock in your words "let's keep in touch."  I have made new friends, that is a true statement, and I am thankful God has blessed me with some new people in my life, but to me, it doesn't matter if I have known you 2 weeks or 2 years, if you are not willing to make the effort to keep in touch, then why should I?