While I was unemployed, many times I pondered going back to school. What I really wanted to go into was Cosmetology, but the Unemployment office had given me a list of the top 50 career avenues to choose from, they would help with the top 5 choices, and not one of them interested me. No, I mean, really. The top 5 were like Nurse (I don't like the sight of blood), Computer Programmer (boring), Insurance Sales Agent (not a quota person or sales person), Biologist (yea right), and I think Teacher (not putting up with someone else's unruly brats).
I started looking into Ivy Tech, even toured it. I had graduated from there in May 1995, and let me tell you, that building has changed so much and is just beautiful inside. I could easily get lost in there! I thought about Business Administration and also Culinary School. Two different paths , right? I also toured the Nursing section to make my case manager at Unemployment office happy, if only for a minute. Not for me. No way, no how. I looked into USI, too far a drive for me, too big, and the the main reason, I never made it back into school is I just didn't think this old brain had it in it to "get" through school at my age. Now before you bombard me and tell me about a 60 year old that was in your college class last semester or several semesters ago, ok, good for them! In fact, my hat is off to them, but I know how my brain is and I didn't think it could withstand research papers, speeches, homework, math, etc at my age. This is just me.
Here is my confession, some of you already know this, but I don't know a THING about Algebra. I tried to take it before, as I never had it in high school, and it just doesn't make a bit of sense to me. I even had a tutor (embarassing for me to admit), but that didn't work either. I know Algebra is required in most degrees, if I can't understand it, and in real life will probably never need it, what is the point? I am not saying that I am stupid by any means, but Algebra and I were never friends and can never be friends. Who on earth thought about adding the alphabet to Math? I just don't freakin get it! This is one major roadblock for me why I didn't return to college! I admit it freely, got it off my chest.
Now I find myself working at Vectren, which at first I was very apprehensive. Always is a little intimidating going into a strange place for the first time and not knowing a single soul. I was used to working at American General aka Springleaf for 8 years, when you spend 8 years with people they become very important to you, like family. I know in time, the Vectren folks will feel like family (hopefully). I am glad that I ventured out of my comfort zone and chose to go somewhere where I can make a name for myself and no one knows me. I can prove to them why they hired me, the way I see it they have just invested 9 weeks on me in training me to do a job, and I have made that investment with them to put me to work and try to do the best job I can possibly do for them and hopefully move up within the company.
With all of this being said, I was more than a bit nervous when I found out how rigorous and extensive this 9 week training class was going to be. The doubts, at times, reared their ugly heads, and kept asking "can you do this?" I gave into some of those doubts at times, its called lack of self confidence. I have always had issues with that. Trying to work on them. Not that I think someone is better than me, I just think it takes me longer to "get" some things, and I don't know why. It frustrates me to no end. I am my biggest critic.
As Becky says, it is a Capricorn thing. When I walk into a new situation, I think I should know everything after the first week. And when I don't know it that quickly, I tend to beat myself up over it. Where most people, know they shouldn't know everything that soon, different personalities I guess.
I am more of a hands on learner, you can read me slides all day long and explain things to me in a classroom setting, but until I get my hands on the actual keyboard, nothing makes sense to me. Ok, well, almost nothing. AND I am a paper person, I believe in having those quick references at my desk, instead of having to look them up on the computer while my customer is on the phone, I am old school that way, and it helps me learn procedures faster. In time, I won't need that piece of paper that was once my Bible on how to do something, but in the beginning if I have that, I can be so much more efficient, I promise.
While there are some things I don't agree with at Vectren (supplies), overall, I think it is a good company to work for. As far as I see it, as long as you do your job and do it well, job security. I have been laid off 3 times now in my career, and I would prefer not to have to go through that again if I can help it. So, I have almost made it to the end of our 9 week training session, and although I don't know everything there is to know about my job, I am confident in time, it will become second nature to me. I did it! And I am proud!
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