Mental Block

Posting for Saturday, February 2nd, 2013

Hello it's me again. This is about weightloss, weight gain and all about weight, so if you are skeemish and are tired of reading my rants about this back away slowly.

I think I have set myself up to failure....again. This is so mind boggling for me, since I had surgery almost 3 years ago, yes the scaled tipped up 5 lbs from time to time and I was able to get rid of that 5 lbs plus a little extra. And now I keep gaining and gaining which is not only not cool, but embarrassing for me period.

I know the statistics say in year 2 you could gain 40% of your weight back. Look, I never wanted to meet that kind of record or be in those statistics. In fact, I fought hard not to be listed in this.

Here's the truth, I blamed the new job on the weight gain, which if I am honest SOME of it is the job because of the mental stress that goes along with it, but that is certainly not the only reason. In fact, I am not really sure what the reasoning is, all I know is I need help. IN A BIG WAY!

I am so tired all of the time. I try to eat better, and for the most part I do, it's that sweet tooth that gets me. I remember in all the bazillion papers I had to sign when I was going through evaluation for my gastric bypass one of the bullet points was that you wouldn't set your wheels in a drive thru for at least 2 years after your surgery. Man, did I blow this one!

I have a sickness this I know. I just don't know how to get on the right track back to losing this weight that I so desperately need to loose. I thought by putting it on Facebook it would make me accountable, but it hasn't.

I think when i announce a date that my diet starts that is setting me up for failure right there, i need to just do it and not say anything and see if that approach works for me.

Ok, I will admit it my pants are starting to get tight and I had went out and bought 1 size bigger, but the more I thought about it the more disgusted I felt, so I went to return them all. I refuse to buy bigger pants, I will just have to suffer in the ones I have until I make the changes I so desperately want and need, now just have to convince the brain of this....and sometimes the brain is very stubborn.

I just want to lose about 30 lbs and I would be super happy! Is that too much to ask?